Jeff Bezos Was Sending Lauren Sanchez Dick Pics Behind His Wife’s Back

Jeff Bezos pulled a Carlos Danger and sent some dick pics to his mistress behind his wife’s back. The National Enquirer has them, but isn’t publishing them or even describing them out of respect to his privacy (that means it’s small).

I’m glad they’re taking this stance, because it isn’t like Amazon would send thousands of things you’d said in front of your radio to a random person for no reason. Wait, they did that?

The customer had asked to listen back to recordings of his own activities made by Alexa but he was also able to access 1,700 audio files from a stranger when Amazon sent him a link, German trade publication c’t reported.

“This unfortunate case was the result of a human error and an isolated single case,” an Amazon spokesman said on Thursday.

That’s bad, but it isn’t like it’s happened more than once. It happened more than once, didn’t it?

“Echo woke up due to a word in background conversation sounding like ‘Alexa,’” Amazon said in a statement. “Then, the subsequent conversation was heard as a ‘send message’ request. At which point, Alexa said out loud ‘To whom?’ At which point, the background conversation was interpreted as a name in the customer’s contact list. Alexa then asked out loud, ‘[contact name], right?’ Alexa then interpreted background conversation as ‘right’. As unlikely as this string of events is, we are evaluating options to make this case even less likely.”

Why aren’t they showing us this guy’s dong again?

I mean, who wouldn’t want sexy pictures of this exemplar of masculinity.

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like, Steven Crowder.

Bezos should have just sent her pictures of his bank balance, that’s clearly his most attractive feature. You wanna know why Alexa was laughing randomly? It’s because it had just seen Bezos’s dick.

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