Mackenzie Bezos Dreamnt Weird Turtle-Themed Nightmares Before Split with Jeff Bezos

The Jeff Bezos cheating scandal and divorce just keeps getting weirder. According to Bezos’ messages to his mistress, Lauren Sanchez, three months before their split, his wife MacKenzie Bezos was having bizarre, turtle-themed nightmares. Gee, I can’t imagine how MacKenzie conjured up the image of turtles in her subconscious.

I don’t know why someone would feel the need to share their pillow talk with their wife to their mistress, but we all know how much of an oversharing motherfucker Jeff Bezos is, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. But here’s what Bezos described in a text to Lauren Sanchez.

“MacKenzie dreamt I redecorated the bedroom. I kept doing it and it got weirder and weirder and weirder. Until I was sewing stuffed turtles into the comforter.”

It does seem weird, but there are plenty of studies about symbolism in dreams. According to the National Enquirer (who uncovered Bezos’ texts), turtles do have some significance in dreams:

“Turtles in a dream are supposedly an indication of closed personality and suggest a period of slow progress in someone’s life.”

Well, that does make a lot of sense. Mackenzie must have suspected that something was up with her no-good husband since this sexting with Sanchez had allegedly been going on for quite a while.

Jeff Bezos was sneaking around behind her back and secretly cheating on her with another woman; that certainly indicates “a closed personality” on his part. Now, Mackenzie is getting divorced and could stand to get half of his assets. I would say that ridding yourself of a publicly embarrassing backstabbing husband only to eventually end up with millions as a result qualifies as “slow progress!” For MacKenzie’s life, anyway. Maybe not so much on Jeff’s end.

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Sed Letticus
Sed Letticus
5 years ago

Turtles in the comforter
turtles in my head
turtles out to get me
hiding under bed.

…follow your dreams…

5 years ago

She helped found the company. She OWNS 50%. There is no “she could stand to win” , she has WON.
Bozo the clown lost. I can’t wait until it comes out that his mistress was part of it. lol