Oscars Decides Kevin Hart Is Irreplaceable, Will Reportedly Forgo a Host Entirely

Being the host of the Oscars is a thankless job. Even Seth MacFarlane didn’t want to do it twice and that guy loves pretty much everything that hasn’t been good since before he was born. No one with any talent wants to be the host and have to go an apology tour for tweets they made ten years ago like Kevin Hart, so the only choices are no host or Trevor Noah, who assures us that he’s funny and Comedy Central loves him and the accountants at The Daily Show don’t have to be constantly talked down from the ledge outside their office while they’re ranting about how it’s John Oliver’s fault they can’t afford to send their kids to college.

According to Variety, the Oscars have decided to go with no host.

The Oscars are poised to embark on one of the most radical reinventions in the awards show’s long history. For the first time in nearly three decades, the biggest night in movies plans to go without a host, individuals with knowledge of the plans told Variety.

Producers will select a crop of A-listers to introduce various segments instead of relying on one marquee name to kick things off in a monologue filled with Trump zingers, said the insiders. The producers and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the group behind the Oscars, are scrambling to line up top talent needed to carry the telecast, which is just six weeks from airing live — on Feb. 24 — from Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre. Hand-wringing at the Academy has been palpable.

God has Donald Trump been bad for comedy. You’d think that having a President with a dick that looks like a mushroom who could barely read before he started getting Alzheimer’s would be a veritable goldmine for comics, but all the jokes about him are like Seth Meyers going “Have you no shame, sir!?” It’s probably a good thing the Oscars aren’t going to have a host going “Trump really wants that wall, I guess he got the idea because Melania built one to keep him on his side of the bed! Haaaaaamburger!”

And I don’t blame celebrities for not wanting to host the ceremony. They dumped Kevin Hart after a few hours because of some decades-old tweets. Now, we can debate about the appropriateness of what he said and if he should be host or not, but the message they sent loud and clear to the rest of Hollywood was “We will not stand behind you and we’re going to drop you at the first hint of controversy.” Who in their right mind is going to take that deal?

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