Twitter Billionaire Jack Dorsey Buying Model Girlfriend’s Love With Jewelry

Twitter is kind of like the Switzerland of social media; it’s much nicer than neighbors like Facebook but it’s basically built on taking money from Nazis. And Jack is using that Nazi gold to buy gold jewelry for his 23-year-old model girlfriend Raven Lyn Cornell.

That sounds judgey, but if I had $4 billion because I had the idea to make text messages public I’d probably spend it on dating a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model half my age, too.

I’m sure there are better ways to spend $4 billion than impressing swimsuit models, but who has the time when the world is so full of swimsuit models?

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