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I Hate ‘The Masked Singer’, So Why Am I Obsessed With ‘The Masked Singer’

The Masked Singer has become a huge hit for Fox, and I have to admit that I’m obsessed with it even thuogh I think it’s the dumbest thing in the world. An American adaptation of South Korean hit Miseuteori Eumaksyo Bokmyeon-gawang, or King of Mask Singer, The Masked Singer features a group of celebrities in a singing competition show with the hook being they were elaborate mascot costumes to hide their identities from the audience and judges Ken Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, Nicole Scherzinger and Robin Thicke. We only find out who is under the mask once a singer is eliminated, or, I assume, at the end of the season when the winner is announced.

I don’t like The Masked Singer; I don’t like the concept of singing competition reality shows to begin with and the hook for this show just seems utterly ridiculous. But I need to know who is under the masks. It’s latched onto my brains and I just keep following it.

So far, we’re halfway through the show and that means the six worst singers have been unmasked.

  • Hippo – Antonio Brown
  • Pineapple – Tommy Chong
  • Deer – Terry Bradshaw
  • Poodle – Margaret Cho
  • Unicorn – Tori Spelling
  • Raven – Ricki Lake

Two Pittsburgh Steelers seems like an odd choice, but it’s better than two New England Patriots. Can you imagine if Tom Brady was one of the masked singers? Running around deflating the other masks and making his kids kiss him on his weird mascot lips, no one needs to see that.

Also, none of these people are major celebrities or even singers so far. I feel like that’s part of the appeal of the show, because if I knew that these were the celebrities there’s no way I’d ever tune in. It’s like Dancing with the Stars or Celebrity Big Brother: really stretching the definition of the words “star” and “celebrity”.

I think the mystery is a big part of the appeal. Like a mystery novel, people like to guess about whodoneit. I’m only human. So you did it, Fox, you hooked me on watching something I hate with your gimmicks. It’s like that terrible movie that Kristen Stewart did those nude scenes in; I’m miserable, but the pay-off is worth it. Also, I will fight anyone who says the Bee is anyone but Gladys Knight.

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