There was an episode of the TV show How I Met Your Mother where the main characters explain to Neil Patrick Harris’s Barney that the reason they can see through his lies because he always takes them one sentence too far. This is a lesson Jussie Smollett should take to heart the next time he stages a hate crime against himself.
See, what Jussie Smollett said happened on Good Morning America was this, via CBS:
“And then I see the attacker, masked. And he said, ‘This is MAGA country, n*****.’ Punches me right in the face. So, I punched his ass back,” Smollett said. “I think what people need to hear is just the truth.”
Where he went too far is by saying that his attackers recognized him from Empire, getting his attention yelling “Hey Empire!” and then said that. Because we all know that all racist, homophobic “MAGA country” people are big fans of Empire and know all the minor supporting actors at a glance from a distance. In fact, according to TMZ, this is one of the reasons police investigate the possibility it was a hoax.
The sources say there were red flags from the get-go. Cops were extremely suspicious when Jussie took them out to the area where he said he was attacked and pointed to an obscure camera saying how happy he was that the attack was on video. Turns out the camera was pointing in the wrong direction. Cops thought it was weird he knew the location of that camera.
And, there’s this. We’re told investigators didn’t believe the 2 alleged attackers screamed, “This is MAGA country,” because, “Not a single Trump supporter watches ‘Empire.'”
How did police break the case that this was staged? Well, it turns out the “attacker” was an extra on Empire. Yeah. Smollett is turning out to be quite the brain genius here. He is really going down with the ship on this one, which worked for George Zimmerman so what the hell. Here’s his statement via CNN.
“As a victim of a hate crime who has cooperated with the police investigation, Jussie Smollett is angered and devastated by recent reports that the perpetrators are individuals he is familiar with,” the statement read. “He has now been further victimized by claims attributed to these alleged perpetrators that Jussie played a role in his own attack. Nothing is further from the truth and anyone claiming otherwise is lying.”
As always, stand-up comic and all-around great guy Ron Funches is the voice of reason in all of this.