Miley Cyrus is ‘Redefining Queerness’ by Marrying a Super Hot Dude

Miley Cyrus is one of those people who wants to be really edgy and dangerous and just isn’t. The closest she’s come is being those pictures that looked like she was ten seconds from going all Mackenzie Phillips with Billy Ray. Other than that, she’s famous because she was on Disney Channel; she’s basically as edgy as Ducktales.

Miley married a really hot Australian guy, Liam Hemsworth, and is trying to spin it as some sort of dangerous statement in Vanity Fair.

“The reason that people get married sometimes can be old-fashioned, but I think the reason we got married isn’t old-fashioned—I actually think it’s kind of New Age. We’re redefining, to be fucking frank, what it looks like for someone that’s a queer person like myself to be in a hetero relationship. A big part of my pride and my identity is being a queer person. What I preach is: People fall in love with people, not gender, not looks, not whatever. What I’m in love with exists on almost a spiritual level. It has nothing to do with sexuality. Relationships and partnerships in a new generation—I don’t think they have so much to do with sexuality or gender. Sex is actually a small part, and gender is a very small, almost irrelevant part of relationships.”

There’s a lot to unpack here, but just say you’re bisexual. It’s fine, you don’t have to say you’re queer and be all cagey about it and be like “I’m attracted to people for their souls.” You’re bi. It’s fine. I’m bi, my partner is bi, my best friend from college was bi. It’s not really a big deal.

But you are in no way “redefining what it looks like for someone that’s queer to be in a hetero relationship.” You’re just a bi person being normal. I’m sorry it’s not exciting and winning you some sort of award. I know, it sucks being bi, especially as a woman because lesbians are just super shitty to bisexuals, but let’s all just settled down. You got married. So did over 6,000 other couple in the US alone, just that day. You’re not special.

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