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Rapper 21 Savage Picked Up By ICE on Charges of Being Secretly British

21 Savage, real name Sha Yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph is a tough street kid from Atlanta who was expelled from school in the seventh grade for carrying a gun, joined the Bloods and grew up to be antisemitic rapper. At least that’s what he wants you to believe. It turns out he’s actually British.

The Blemish is exclusively reporting that 21 Savage’s real name is Clive Winsor-Smythe, he was born in Southampton, he voted Remain on the Brexit referendum, the school he was expelled from was Hogwarts and his favorite (or as he says, favourite) TV show is Only Fools and Horses. Of course, none of that is likely true, but we’re reporting it because this is a comedy blog and our fact-checking budget is a cartoon character opening up a wallet and a fly buzzing out. I’m also being told Sha Yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph is pronounced “bouquet.”

But 21 Savage was actually detained by ICE on charges of being British, something that is really going to hurt his gangsta image because the toughest guy in the UK is that soccer played who grabbed the other guy’s dick during a game.Here’s the statement ICE gave on the matter, via CNN.

“Mr. Abraham-Joseph is presently in ICE custody in Georgia and has been placed into removal proceedings before the federal immigration courts,” ICE said in a statement. “ICE will now await the outcome of his case before a federal immigration judge to determine future actions.”

You know who was all over this? Twitter was all over this.

Of course, it wasn’t all laughs. Demi Lovato said she thought all the memes were hilarious (they were, but not as funny as “I made queso”) and out came the knives, forcing Lovato off of Twitter with a bunch of “someone’s in custody and you’re laughing!” fake outrage. I was laughing when I saw the cross tattoo on his face, it looks like someone drew a dick on his face while he was passed out and he had to cover it up for a job interview.

It’s not all bad news for Savage, though, you can still rap and be British.

Aww, remember Lily Allen? I think she still has a show on the Beeb, so you check that out when you get home, Savage. Just make sure you pay your television license. We look forward to seeing you on QI.

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