Valentine’s Day is a dumb holiday. If you’re single, it’s a whole day to remind you that you’re single. If you’re in a relationship, the best result is you do everything right and don’t have a huge fight. And for some people, it’s a crushing reminder of how you’re alone and your mother is very disappointed you haven’t given her grandchildren yet.
And if you thought your yenta mother was embarrassing in her attempts to hook you up with one of her friend’s most fertile daughters, she has nothing on a woman being sought by campus police at Towson University. Here’s how her yentaing was described by The Baltimore Sun.
Towson University police have asked students and staff to be on the lookout for a woman in her 50s wearing a multicolored scarf. She’s looking for a date for her son.
Students complained to officers that she approached them last week in two campus buildings, the Cook Library and Center for the Arts, showing them a picture on her cell phone and asking if they were interested in dating her son.
It caused enough of a disturbance that police alerted students via an “incident advisory” that included a link to surveillance footage of the woman.
Yeah, you read that right, this woman was just wandering around campus asking women to date her son. Campus police are even looking for in the interest of “public safety.”
Moms, I’ll save you some time. If you’re walking up to strangers and showing them a picture of your son and asking if they’d date him, the answer is no, because you’re a crazy person and no one is going to want to deal with you. You just need to hope your son knocks up some adamantly pro-life woman at some college party because that’s the only way someone is going to have a kid that you’d be the grandmother of. And I mean adamantly. If there’s any wiggle room in there, she’s going to wiggle when she meets you.