A Billionaire Died Trying to Make his Dick Bigger

I don’t know what you have to do to be a billionaire, but it probably involves something shady. In the case of Ehud Arye Laniado, it was diamond trading, which, if you know anything about diamonds, is a huge red flag. I’m not saying he sold blood diamonds, but dead people can’t sue for defamation so he was almost certainly selling blood diamonds or something equally unethical. You can tell by the way he made a billion dollars doing it.

Anyway, it turns out Ehud Arye Laniado had both a billion dollars and a tiny dick, so he decided to do something about it. Unfortunately for him, it cost him his life. From theĀ Toronto Sun:

The 65-year-old big wheel died of a heart attack at a private Paris hospital where he was undergoing a penis enlargement procedure.

Reports say the Israeli-Belgian died on the operating table.

Belgian media report that Laniad was stricken when a substance was injected into his penis triggering his demise.

I don’t know how I’m going to die, but if I’m lucky, nowhere in my autopsy or obituary will it say I “was stricken when a substance was injected into his penis triggering his demise.”

One friend told Belgian media that Laniado had always been focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.

Well, now he’s known to the entire world as “that billionaire with the tiny dick.”

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