Allison Mack’s NXIVM Sex Cult Compatriot Clare Bronfman Faints in Court After Being Asked if She Hired Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer Michael Avenatti

This NXIVM story just keeps getting more and more bizarre and hilarious. A quick recap is that NXIVM founder Keith Raniere allegedly had former Smallville star Allison Mack start a sex cult inside the group, which is supposed to be some sort of management leadership course. That’s already fucking crazy. Imagine getting a promotion at work and being sent for management training and you end up getting Chloe Sullivan’s initials branded into your ass and some dude is telling you he heals people with his cum. That is like an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Not everyone in NXIVM was involved in these sex cult shenanigans. Some of them were just alleged to be doing regular cult things, like Seagram’s heiress Clare Bronfman, who was arrested and charged with money laundering and identity theft on behalf of the management seminar. My opinion is that she’s guilty as hell because she started a charity with Raniere’s help called the Ethical Humanitarian Foundation which is the sort of thing Doctor Doom would call a charity. “Yes, we are ethical humanitarians, this is absolutely not a front to lure Reed Richards to his doom. DAMN YOU RICHARDS!”

But that’s just my opinion and in the eyes of the law Bronfman is innocent until proven guilty. The New York Post reported that she employed an unusual strategy today at her trial.

“Did she retain Mr. Avenatti to represent her in this case, yes or no?” Garaufis asked Donna Newman, one of Bronfman’s lawyers. […]

Rather than answer, Newman requested a sidebar with the judge, and Bronfman joined more than a half-dozen lawyers for a private, 10-minute discussion next to Garaufis’ bench.

On her way back, Bronfman — whose face appeared yellowish — stumbled and fell forward, but broke her fall by planting her hands on the defense table.

Yeah, she fainted after being asked if she had hired Michael Avenatti, who himself was just arrested for extortion. Also he lost a case to Donald Trump, so I don’t know why these rich people keep thinking he’s some sort of great legal mind.

Remember that episode of Arrested Development where Buster pretends to be in a coma to avoid testifying at George’s trial? I don’t know why I thought of that just now, probably unrelated to anything.