ESC

Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Desperately Doesn’t Want You to See His Deflated Ball Sack

You would think that a guy who owns an NFL team could afford to go to high-class prostitutes instead of some cheap handjob hut where old ladies are giving you a wank. He’s got 20-year-old virgin hooker money. But apparently Billionaire Robert Kraft likes $70 mini-mall handies.

The New York Post reported that their are videos of Kraft’s visits that he’d very much not like you to see.

Lawyers for the billionaire — as well as attorneys for 14 of the 24 other men charged with soliciting prostitution at the Orchids of Asia Spa in Jupiter — have filed jointly for a protective order to prevent law enforcement and prosecutors from releasing any evidence gathered in the investigation — most notably the police surveillance videos.

Affidavits in the case have revealed cops placed cameras in the spa the day before 77-year-old Kraft’s first visit in January, and describe how the footage shows two women, one aged 45 and another aged 58, “manipulating Kraft’s [genitals].” On the second visit, the younger woman is seen putting “her head down by his [genitals]” the documents state.

Wow, a blowjob, too. No wonder their Yelp reviews say they demand a 20% tip. By the way, I wanted to highlight one of the Yelp reviews I found.

I saw the reviews and wasn’t sure about going here. That’s why I decided to write a review. It was wonderful. I go there whenever I can visit. I have given my mother gift certificates as well.

You sick bastard.

Speaking of sick bastards who are into incest, Politico is reporting Donald Trump very much wants Robert Kraft to visit the White House with the rest of his team to celebrate their Super Bowl victory. And he thought he had such a good excuse to avoid eating pizza sitting under a heat lamp.

President Donald Trump wants Kraft to join his players at the White House this spring for a celebration of their February Super Bowl victory, a prospect that has White House aides worried that it could turn a feel-good photo op into an embarrassing media spectacle.

Yeah, we wouldn’t want Trump to embarrass himself, it would be so out of character.

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