Seal Will Just Chow Down On an Entire, Plain Loaf of Bread

I think we may have finally solved the mystery of “why is Seal out there borrowing salad spinners from people?” It turns out he’s not much of an “eating salad” guy, he’s more of a “eating an entire loaf of bread, one slice at a time, with nothing on it” guy. We know this because Carly Rae Jepsen watched him do it, which I believe because how do you even look away from that unfolding.

Here’s what Jepsen told Zane Lowe on Beats 1, via Spin:

Carly Rae: They were making travel less expensive. This was their thing. Fun fact, Seal ate an entire loaf of bread one slice at a time. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say that.

Zane Lowe: Who is this person? Oh my God.

Carly Rae: It was gluten-free though. So that’s good.

Oh, well, it was gluten free, that’s way less weird. It gets better.

Jepsen also revealed that she secretly filmed Seal eating this loaf—pretending-to-text style—and still has the footage on her cell phone. “He opened the bread, he removed a piece, he closed the bread, he ate the whole piece, nothing on it,” she said. “Then he did it all over again.”

Holy s**t. This is serial killer behavior. If someone just eats bread in front of you without talking (he wasn’t talking, just eating bread), call the police. They absolutely have a necklace made of ring fingers somewhere in their house. There’s photographic evidence of this, too.

Why is he holding bread like that? Look how excited he is to have bread. This is either the most elaborate celebrity practical joke on the public ever played or Seal has 100% put his dick inside a loaf of bread. And he probably split that loaf in half. Which, to be fair, is what you’re supposed to do with bread.

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