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Geri Halliwell is Crushing My Dreams, Denies Hooking Up With Mel B

We were living the dream there, boys. For a whole glorious week we got to believe that two of the Spice Girls had sex with each other back when they were both still hot. What a week it was. But all good things must come to an end and Geri Halliwell, who now goes by Stepford Spice, threw cold water on our good times in a statement to USA Today.

In a statement on Monday, Halliwell’s spokesman Alan Edwards told USA TODAY, “She would like you to know that what has been reported recently is simply not true and has been very hurtful to her family,” noting, “It has been very disappointing to read about all these rumors again.”

I keep hoping this is going to turn out to be an April Fools joke and we’ll wake up tomorrow and Geri will have come out and gone “Nah, I shagged the absolute ass off her, lads. I still get wistful looking at the scissors when my husband makes me cut coupons for F-1 tyres out of the Sun.” She spelled ‘tires’ like that because she’s British, it’s their thing I had nothing to do with it.

Edwards also said this:

He added, “Geri can’t wait to see the girls and all the fans on the tour, have an amazing time with everyone, and make some new memories.”

Yeah, new memories. I’ll bet.

This is all just because her husband was on a warpath about her going on tour and bumping every night isn’t it? I thought so. Geri, you can do better. Probably not Mel B good after this, but better.

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