ESC

Lori Loughlin’s Prosecutors Bring More Charges, Also Target Hot Pocket Inventor

The day after Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty in the college admissions scandal she and Lori Loughlin were caught up in, prosecutors announced additional charges against Loughlin and the other accused parents who haven’t pleaded guilty.

Via the AP:

Federal prosecutors added money laundering to the list of accusations against actress Lori Loughlin, her fashion designer husband, Mossimo Giannulli, and 14 other prominent parents Tuesday in the college admissions bribery case, increasing the pressure on them to plead guilty as other parents have agreed to do.

I’m not a legal expert, but even I know prosecutors love to pile charges on defendants to tell them they’re looking at 100 years in prison and they should plead guilty and just take the deal. Adding more charges to the people fighting the charges the day after the rest of the accused pleaded guilty just seems really blatant to me.

Other parents indicted on the new charge Tuesday include Michelle Janavs, whose family developed the microwave snack line Hot Pockets before selling their company, and William McGlashan, who co-founded an investment fund with U2′s Bono in 2017.

Okay, whew. They sold the company, so my precious chicken and broccoli Croissant Pockets are safe. Those are like the gourmet Hot Pockets, not that ham and cheddar stuff the plebs eat.

I don’t blame Loughlin for fighting this, honestly. There are a lot of things that go into a criminal trial and if she can afford to piss away half a million dollars getting her Instagram model daughter into USC, she can afford a pretty good trial lawyer.

I mean, if O.J. Simpson got away with killing two people because he pretended he couldn’t get a glove on and he found a racist cop on the LAPD, Loughlin can probably skate on this. I mean, finding a racist cop isn’t exactly like finding a needle in a haystack, it’s more like finding some hay in a haystack.

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