R. Kelly Did a 28 Second Concert, Said 30 Seconds Was Too Old

Like Louis C.K., R. Kelly is back to performing despite his recent public disgrace. But according to Fox News, Kelly’s performance lasted just 28 seconds. I’ve taken a pisses that lasted longer than 28 seconds, although unlike Kelly mine weren’t on 13-year-olds.

Kelly announced the event on Instagram and asked the media to “take it easy on him” because he has to earn a living, he has a bunch of girlfriends to put through college in five years.

Via Fox:

TV stations WICS and WRSP report that about 100 people were at the 450-person-capacity club to see Kelly, who arrived at 1:30 a.m. There was a $100 entrance fee, which was lowered to $50 once Kelly arrived.

Was the entrance free for the event, or did the club just go “Oh, R. Kelly’s here, we should give people a discount?”

The stations report that some fans said it wasn’t worth the $100 and that they wouldn’t pay again. Fans also said they separate the accusations from the “artist.”

There’s actually a worthwhile discussion to be had on separating the art from the artist, and I don’t know why Fox put artist in quotes. R. Kelly has had a pretty successful music career, it’s not like he’s only known for peeing on teenagers. I generally don’t care what an artist has done in their personal life. Just as an example, we all know Hannah Gadsby is a more moral person than Louis C.K. But Louis C.K. is funny while Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special was so terrible that I was tempted to switch over to Jeff Dunham because at least his unfunny racist puppets aren’t so fucking preachy.

My point is, if you like R. Kelly’s music, you don’t have to feel guilty. And if you give him $100 he will sing a few bars of it. Seriously, if you run into R. Kelly on the street and offer him $20 to hum a few bars of ‘Trapped in the Closet’ I’ll bet he’d do it.

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