It’s the most swimsuitest time of the year. Christmas and Easter are over and that means it’s almost time for my favorite holiday, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue day. I mean, I have been observing it since I was in high school after all. Of course, that was before I had internet porn, so I’m not the most faithful follower, but it’s still exciting.
For example, Robin Holzken is going to be in this year’s magazine and she’s been showing us what we’ll be seeing on Instagram, a website that is sort of like the Sunday service version of SISI Day.
God damn tortoises coming into our country and stealing our swimsuit models.
It’s too bad the Swimsuit Issue only comes once a year. Thankfully they really milk that s**t and start hyping next year’s magazine in like, August.