The Ferris Wheel Blowjob and Other Sex Stories From Coachella

Coachella isn’t just about stopping at a random structure every 5 minutes and asking someone to take pictures of your squad so you can post it with the caption #GOALS on IG. It’s also about taking in the breathtaking views of some lucky guy getting head on the ferris wheel.

If you thought this was just a one-off thing, think again. Turns out Coachella is a hotbed for exhibisionism. Here are a few stories that may make you consider buying that $420 pass.

2015 I had a massively obese couple furiously devouring each other ALL NIGHT LONG in the camp grounds next to mine.

My friend was coming down from a bad trip and all we could hear for hours was the smacking sound of their flaps and moaning.

It still haunts my nightmares. (AuntGentleman)

Wait. I thought these were supposed to be sexy stories.

Just right before Beyoncé set, everyone looked tired and sat in the back waiting (including me and my bf). A couple in front of us were sitting down, the girl was on top and hugging the guy as she’s slowly moving back and forth. They were having sex between hundreds of people and sat right under the light pole. (cookiethepug)

Some people just like to be rocked like a baby.

“My boyfriend and I were partying on molly when we met up with friends to watch Kanye West. My friends were really excited about him, but my boyfriend and I weren’t as much. We were rolling and bored and feeling frisky, so we started grinding on each other during the set. We moved to the back of our group, and I wrapped my scarf around myself. My boyfriend started to finger me during the concert right behind my friends. After I orgasmed a couple times, we went back to normal dancing and nobody seemed to notice. It made listening to Kanye a hell of a lot more exciting!”

But where were those fingers before?

“My friends and I went to Coachella as a group a few years ago. I had a girlfriend at the time, but I found out that I actually really liked this other girl in my group. We had never really hung out before. We ended up having sex outside of the Sahara tent in front of a bunch of people — we were on acid. There were people taking pictures. We came back to our tent and she crashed in the car with me for the whole rest of the week. Then eventually we started dating. We were together for, like, three years.”

Yea, but about that other girlfriend…

I was rolling a bit at the ASAP Rocky at Coachella last year. Made eye contact with a girl. Asked if she wanted to dance. Long story short, I love nipple rings.

Wait, did he have sex or did she flash him? Look, I don’t know. What I do know is I’m going to Coachella next year.