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Disney Released 10 Years of Movie Release Dates, Hope You Want to See the Same Shit For the Next Decade

Christmas came early today for all the people who like watching the same three movies every year for the rest of time because Disney just released their theatrical release calendar for the next ten years. Here’s a hint for you; they’ve filled an entire decade with all the same shit they’re doing now.

There’s a lot to unpack here. The first thing is that they’re still pretending that they’re going to release The New Mutants, an X-Men spin-off set in the continuity of the old films that Dark Phoenix will close the door on. The Maisie Williams film was supposed to debut before Dark Phoenix but it keeps getting pushed back because it desperately needs reshoots that Disney isn’t going to pay for, so while I’m sure they’d like to release it to try to make back some of their production budget, they’re probably going to dump it on Hulu, which is the smart thing. Releasing a bad movie based on good characters can really cause problems for the property. Just look at Green Lantern; Green Lantern was DC’s top selling comic for the better part of a decade and their film division basically considers it toxic. Marvel probably doesn’t want that to happen with a group of characters who could end up being the core of an X-Men or X-Force movie.

If you’re a fan of Untitled Marvel, your cup runneth over. This appears eight times on the schedule, all in the next three years. And that’s not even counting Spider-Man: Far From Home, which comes out this summer. It seems like that Black Widow film is still on the production slate, and is actually filming right now, as one intrepid Twitter user caught ScarJo filming a Marvel movie in his back yard.

Though he later added someone told him this was Morbius, which is produced by Sony, not Black Widow.

Do people really want to see a prequel film about a character they’ve already killed off? Who cares.

All those “Untitled Disney Live Action” films could be anything, but I’m going with the assumption they’re all live action remakes of Disney cartoons. If you really think about it, that’s  probably way more likely to be correct than Disney actually making something new, and I can honestly see them cranking four of those pieces of shit out a year.

Indiana Jones is back on the schedule, think Shia LaBeouf will be in that one? I actually liked the last Indiana Jones movie, so you can all bite me. There’s also a Bob’s Burgers movie on the schedule, which will really cement its place as “The Simpsons but still good.”

Finally, there’s going to be another new Star Wars or Avatar movie every year starting in 2021 until about when the sun goes red giant and engulfs the Earth. And Rian Johnson won’t be directing any of them.

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