Justin Bieber Challenged Tom Cruise to an MMA Fight

On Sunday, Justin Bieber, a tough white kid from the mean streets of Ontario, Canada, challenged Tom Cruise to an MMA fight on Twitter. There was no explanation as to why and it seemed pretty sad wanting to beat up a guy 12 years older than his dad. He may as well have challenged a grandpa with Alzheimers and a child with a learning disability right after.

Let’s forget for a moment how ridiculous it is for a 25-year-old to be challenging a 56-year-old who could probably kick his ass. Let’s entertain this idea and see who could win. Here’s some stats for both fighters.

Justin Bieber

Age: 25
Weight: 145 lbs
Height: 5’9”

Tom Cruise

Age: 56
Weight: 150 lbs
Height: 5’7”

It would be fair to say that Justin Bieber has the age, height and probably reach advantage on Tom Cruise. Justin Bieber has also “trained” boxing with Floyd Mayweather and probably knows a little MMA considering his dad used to be an MMA fighter. On paper, Justin Bieber should win this fight. However, you have to account for a few things.

Tom Cruise has spent years preparing for action roles so you know he’s developed old man strength and some fight skills. Add to that the fact that he’s probably on HGH like all the other old action stars and he has himself a strength and even possibly a skill advantage over Bieber.

And then there’s the biggest factor. One that I think pretty much determines Tom Cruise would take it. It is that Justin Bieber is a gigantic pussy.

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4 years ago

Tom Cruise would beat Bieber like a rented mule. It wouldn’t even be a fight. But it would be glorious to behold. Sizzurp would get his whiny bitch ass handed to him and I’d pay to watch it.