Victoria’s Secret Angel Stella Maxwell Has Leaked Nudes or Something

There’s news that Victoria’s Secret Angel Stella Maxwell has leaked nudes out there. I don’t have the photos, but from what I read it’s not very exciting and I’m really just here for the sweet, sweet SEO traffic. Anyway, she shows maybe a quarter of a nipple or whatever. That’d be great if I was a 12-year-old who could get off by just looking at an Aunt Jemima bottle, but I’m older now and I need a little more. I need her to set the scene for me. Maybe some role playing. Her a parking enforcement officer and I a man who just wanted to get my morning cup of coffee. Please don’t punish me, Stella. I can’t afford a ticket right now! I’ll do whatever you say. WHATEVER you say. *Snaps on latex gloves*

Granted, my fantasy would largely be ruined by photos of her walking barefoot in LA. Jesus, that’s disgusting. Not even Quentin Tarantino would touch those things now.

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