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Guy Chooses Going to Jail Over Sex With Girlfriend

There’s an old adage that no matter how hot a person is, someone  is tired of fucking them. There’s some proof that that is true this week as an Ohio man chose to go to prison rather than to have sex with his girlfriend, as reported by WFMJ Ohio.

Warren police have filed charges against a man who told police he locked himself in a hot car during Thursday’s hot weather to avoid having sex with his girlfriend.

Twenty-four-year-old Khrystian Collins has been charged with obstructing official business, resisting arrest, trespass, and domestic violence.

That is a lot of charges for not wanting to have sex.

According to a police report, a 24-year-old woman called officers to her South Feederle Drive home Thursday afternoon because Collins had locked himself inside her Kia Optima and refused to get out of the car.

The first officer to arrive spoke to Collins through a passenger side window that was cracked open a few inches.

The report says Collins told the officer that he locked himself in his girlfriend’s car because she always wants to have sex and it was too hot in the apartment.

Police say the girlfriend confirmed Collins’ story, saying he ran out of the apartment because he didn’t want to have sex with her.

Maybe it’s just me but this sounds like he’s actually scared of his girlfriend trying to force him to have sex. So maybe he shouldn’t have been the one to get arrested in this situation?

This would actually make a really good episode of a sitcom, I think. One of those shows with the fat guy and the hot wife? And the hot wife wants to fuck him and he doesn’t want to because why wouldn’t Gabriel Iglesias be tired of having sex with a supermodel? So then instead of the police, the fire department has to cut him out of the car because he gets stuck because he’s fat and then the wife just starts blowing him when he’s only half out of the car because this is HBO and we want this show to win an Emmy.

Your move, Hollywood.

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