There are some things in life I need to take a moment to wrap my head around. Kevin Hart having a sex tape is right at the top of the list. I’ll bet his dick is huge, by which I mean a little smaller than average but it looks huge on his body. I really don’t want to see this unless he’s fucking Khloe Kardashian in which case I’d just be curious how he can reach.
But Kevin Hart’s sex tape is out there and Kevin’s friend Jonathan Jackson has it. Not only that, but Jackson was arrested for trying to extort Hart with the sex tape.
But not so fast because TMZ is reporting Jackson thought he was trying to sell it to a “legitimate celebrity sex tape broker,” a thing I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist.
Instead, Jackson claims he was contacted by a man who said he was a “Hollywood sex tape broker” and offered him $10k for the video. Jackson says he declined but began negotiation for a higher price … but they never struck a deal.
According to the docs … Jackson believes this sex tape broker was actually someone working on Hart’s behalf to obtain the video and keep it under wraps. When the attempt failed, Jackson says Kevin “likely felt embarrassed and ashamed of his behavior” and came up with the extortion angle to make himself a victim.
I mean, you’re trying to sell your friend’s sex tape, he kind of is the victim.
On that note … Jackson also wants all of his electronic data obtained by a search warrant tossed from the criminal case. He claims law enforcement made up facts — like saying he asked for $5 million from Hart — to establish probable cause … so the warrant was improperly authorized.
This strategy suddenly makes a lot more sense. Even if Hollywood sex tape brokers are a real thing, how much do you really think Kevin Hart’s is worth? The man is funny, but he’s not exactly a sex symbol.