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Taylor Swift Has Her Ass Under 24/7 Surveillance Now

I can’t imagine actually being Taylor Swift. First of all, would I be hot? Kind of depends on the angle, right? Like that woman on Seinfeld Jerry only wanted to take to the diner because that’s the one place the lighting made her look hot. But I digress.

Here’s one reason it’s weird to be Taylor Swift: the most famous moment in VMA history is when Kanye West ran up on stage during her acceptance speech to say Beyoncé should have won instead. It’s probably worth mentioning this is one of the least toxic things a Beyoncé fan has ever done when they felt she was being slighted.

It was still weird enough that Taylor wrote about it in her diary, though, and today we got to see that diary page.

Here’s what that says if you’re having trouble reading it.

Ahh… the things that can change in a week…

Let’s just say, if you had told me Kanye West would have been the number one focus of my week, the media, and my part in the VMA’s I would’ve looked at you crossed eyed. If you had told me I would win the award I was nominated for, I wouldn’t have believed you. If you had told me that one of the biggest stars in music was going to jump up onstage and announce that he thought I shouldn’t have won on live television, I would’ve said “That stuff doesn’t really happen in real life…” Well… apparently… it does.

One of Kanye West’s most on-brand moments, aside from starting his own religion to spread the word of Kanye. You know Aziz Ansari talks about meeting Kanye in his act and when he went to Kanye’s house, Kanye was listening to a Kanye West album.

It’s weird to be Taylor Swift apart from Kanye West, too, because she has to have round-the-clock surveillance of her own ass.

No, you read that right. Remember when Taylor sued the DJ who grabbed her ass and won? Swift told The Guardian that since then, she’s had a camera recording her ass in case someone else gets fresh with her.

She never wanted the assault to be made public. Have there been other instances she has dealt with privately? “Actually, no,” she says soberly. “I’m really lucky that it hadn’t happened to me before. But that was one of the reasons it was so traumatising. I just didn’t know that could happen. It was really brazen, in front of seven people.” She has since had security cameras installed at every meet-and-greet she does, deliberately pointed at her lower half. “If something happens again, we can prove it with video footage from every angle,” she says.

I mean, that’s smart. And looking through that footage wouldn’t be a bad gig. I mean, in the right light.

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