Tom Hiddleston is a pretty sexy guy. He’s got that thing going on where he’s a distinguished older gentleman but he’s also basically a non-threatening twink. Suffice it to say he’s very popular with the ladies. He’s also in those Marvel movies so he has a pretty large fan base of social misfits.
These things came together in an amazing way during his Broadway debut in the play Betrayal, where a woman in the audience was so overwhelmed she just had to rub one out right there in the audience during the play.
A post on All That Chat, the message board for the site Talkin’ Broadway, detailed the, uh, incident.
Betrayal is a very quiet play, with silent moments throughout, and for the most part the audience was very quiet as well (no further cell phone disruptions). We both started noticing that every time Tom Hiddleston said something provocative, our row mate would let out a large laugh, somewhat out of cadence with the rest of the audience. A little further into the play (there is no intermission) she changed positions so that she was facing sideways in her seat with her body facing us and her head turned toward the stage (we initially assumed that she was uncomfortable in the seat). Not long thereafter, I could hear and my companion could feel a rhythmic banging against his armrest, punctuated by occasional low moans and giggles (not loud, but the women in front of me turned around a bunch of times with a puzzled look on her face). The rhythmic banging got faster and faster, until finally there was one slightly louder “Ha” and she resumed normal seat position, put her head back and closed her eyes. This attracted the attention of the people behind us and the man sitting in front of her, who shortly thereafter left his seat and was never seen again. We thought this bizarre incident was over, but lo and behold, as Tom Hiddleston got closer to downstage right and was kissing the female character, our row mate assumed the position again and once more started the process up, with another final “Ha” and nap. She woke up for the bows, stood and clapped enthusiastically and then exited quickly. There really is no question in our minds or the mind of the woman sitting in front of us what had happened.
Yeah, exactly. I’d like to mention that Pee-Wee Herman and Fred Willard both got arrested for this, and they were doing it in a theater playing a porno movie where you’re supposed to masturbate and not a Broadway show where you’re absolutely not.
The message board poster, TKTSVET, did give the show a positive review.
By the way, the show really was wonderful and the cast first rate. But you might want to avoid seat B-3.
Good advice.