R. Kelly is Fighting For His Fucking Life, Right to Have Threesomes in Prison

Being in prison kind of sucks. I mean, not even by design, it’s become an industry built around human suffering designed to put people into prisons with terrible conditions so the big corporations who run them can make money.

But the thing that R. Kelly is complaining about is the lack of threesomes. In fact, his lawyer argues he should be let out on bail because he is having very few threesomes while in prison, according to CNN.

“His visits are severely restricted; presently, he is only allowed one unrelated person to visit. In other words, although he lives and has lived with two lady friends, only one of them is allowed to be on his visiting list, and after 90 days he is required to switch,” Greenberg says in the motion. “No other friends or professional colleagues are allowed to visit. That is not right.”

Okay, so it’s a little worse than just no threesomes. That is a pretty messed up visitation rule though. What is even the point other than being mean? But I do like that “he has lived with two lady friends” is in a legal document.

Kelly’s lawyer also argues that Kelly doesn’t present a flight risk or a risk to victims if set free, which… last time he got out of jail he immediately headed over to the McDonalds he picks up teenagers at. It’s just not helping his case.