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Sharon Osbourne Claims She Groped the Duchess of Cornwall

The younger royals, specifically Prince Charles’ sons and their wives, receive the lions’ charge of media coverage of the royal family. It makes sense, they’re young, dynamic, exciting, don’t believe in homeopathy and some of them even still have their hair… for now.

But it’s my understanding that the nicest and most-liked royals among the people who know and work with them are Crown Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. They’re apparently lovely people, which is probably what you want in a hereditary monarch.

Apparently the Prince and Princess of Wales are so accommodating that Camilla let Sharon Osbourne feel her up. Via Page Six.

The host of CBS’s “The Talk” said Bowles, 72, also let her guard down when she allegedly asked Ozzy Ozbourne, “So you’re the one that takes all the drugs?”

“I gave her t—ties a good ol’ feel,” Sharon admitted.

One of the funniest lines in Disenchantment, the new Matt Groening cartoon that’s better than the current Simpsons episodes at any rate, is when the recently returned to life implores a servant who is touching her in disbelief to “stop poking the royal tit, dear.” It makes me very happy to know that this scene basically played out in real life.

Sharon has seemingly been enamored with the royal tits for years, with a story of her talking about them having made the rounds in 2002.

“She’s got a great cleavage and they’re like really solid tits, and so I told her it and she said thank you,” Sharon said, according to The Sydney Morning Herald. “It didn’t bother her at all and like Ozzy’s going, ‘Oh my God, they’re gonna send us to the tower.’”

I love any story where Ozzy Osbourne is the voice of reason. We’ve all seen The Osbournes, that dude barely knew where he was, imagine what it takes to embarrass him.

I mean, I guess they’re okay, but they’ve seen better days.

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