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Sharon Osbourne Claims She Groped the Duchess of Cornwall

The younger royals, specifically Prince Charles’ sons and their wives, receive the lions’ charge of media coverage of the royal family. It makes sense, they’re young, dynamic, exciting, don’t believe in homeopathy and some of them even still have their hair… for now.

But it’s my understanding that the nicest and most-liked royals among the people who know and work with them are Crown Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. They’re apparently lovely people, which is probably what you want in a hereditary monarch.

Apparently the Prince and Princess of Wales are so accommodating that Camilla let Sharon Osbourne feel her up. Via Page Six.

The host of CBS’s “The Talk” said Bowles, 72, also let her guard down when she allegedly asked Ozzy Ozbourne, “So you’re the one that takes all the drugs?”

“I gave her t—ties a good ol’ feel,” Sharon admitted.

One of the funniest lines in Disenchantment, the new Matt Groening cartoon that’s better than the current Simpsons episodes at any rate, is when the recently returned to life implores a servant who is touching her in disbelief to “stop poking the royal tit, dear.” It makes me very happy to know that this scene basically played out in real life.

Sharon has seemingly been enamored with the royal tits for years, with a story of her talking about them having made the rounds in 2002.

“She’s got a great cleavage and they’re like really solid tits, and so I told her it and she said thank you,” Sharon said, according to The Sydney Morning Herald. “It didn’t bother her at all and like Ozzy’s going, ‘Oh my God, they’re gonna send us to the tower.’”

I love any story where Ozzy Osbourne is the voice of reason. We’ve all seen The Osbournes, that dude barely knew where he was, imagine what it takes to embarrass him.

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This week, The Duchess of Cornwall is attending several engagements, which promote the world of literacy and the importance of reading at all ages. Today HRH hosted a tea at Clarence House for the Booker Prize Foundation, where she met @therealmargaretatwood and @bernardineevaristowriter, who were announced as the joint winners of the #BookerPrize2019 last night. 📚 First awarded in 1969, @thebookerprizes bring recognition, reward and readership to outstanding fiction. HRH has presented the Prize for the past six years. This evening, Her Royal Highness attended a reception at Grosvenor House for the Oscar Wilde Society. The literary society’s event, hosted by @gylesbrandreth, is held every year to celebrate the life and legacy of Oscar Wilde. 📖 In a toast to the author, HRH said: “What is wonderful about Oscar is that his plays, his poetry, and his personality have all stood the test of time. As we reach his 165th birthday we continue to be moved by his work and by his own story, and by the essence of his philosophy.” 📷 Clarence House

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I mean, I guess they’re okay, but they’ve seen better days.

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