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Bloated, Sweaty Papa John Promises ‘Reckoning’ After Eating 40 Pizzas in 30 Days

Papa John is not doing well since he got fired for being a big, dumb racist. He could just take his millions of dollars and f**k off forever. That’s an option when you’re rich. Red Dead Redemption 2 isn’t any less fun when you have enough money to just sit around and do nothing and not make an ass out of yourself on television.

This is not the John Schnatter way, though. This guy has to just be desperate for attention at this point, because he did an interview with WDRB, a local Fox affiliate in Louisville, Kentucky. Seriously, he couldn’t even go on Fox News and they’ll pretty much have anyone who says the n-word and hates Collin Kaepernick on.

The first thing you might notice in this interview is how sweaty and bloated Schnatter is. He claims he’s eaten 40 pizzas in the past 30 days to prove that they’ve changed the recipe since he’s left, which explains a lot.

Schnatter also said that new CEO Rob Lynch, previously the president of Arby’s, “doesn’t really have a passion for quality,” something that should have been obvious when I said he was the president of Arby’s.

Most hilariously, though, he says “A day of reckoning will come,” and when the interviewer very politely asks him what the f**k he’s talking about, he says “Stay tuned.”

When Forbes magazine pegs you as a billionaire and you look like you need someone to hose you down because you’re so full of cheese you’ve got grease dripping off of you, it’s time to retire.

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