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Former ‘Boy Meets World’ Star Maitland Ward Wants to Make a Hallmark Christmas Porno

This year, Santa Claus is coming for the same reason as the rest of us: Maitland Ward’s Instagram. The Disney Star turned world’s most popular porn star is giving us a white Christmas this year. Insert third holiday-themed semen joke about Maitland Ward’s porn career here, like ‘tis the semen.

I never thought I would see Maitland Ward naked when I was a teenager watching Boy Meets World, but here we are.

Ward has a holiday special coming out, which I’m guessing is way better than the time Cory got all mad about Topanga wanting to do Christmas slightly differently than he does. You be grateful you landed such a babe you Ben Savage looking f**k.

She also told TMZ she wants to do a Hallmark movie porno parody, which I would watch. Maitland Ward is a busy executive at the blowjob factory, but she goes back home for a small-town Christmas she learns her company is putting the mom-and-pop blowjob stores out of business. Can she and this handsome fellow she went to high school with win the sex competition to get the prize money to keep the historic town brothel open?

She also wants to do a parody of this year’s Peloton ad. The plot for that one is her husband buys her a piece of home gym equipment and she likes it and uses it and then everyone on the internet calls her a cunt but it’s not harassment because they’re doing it for feminism.

I’ve been telling you for years that Christmas in Hollis is the best Christmas song, do you believe me now?

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