Tekashi 6ix9ine Gets 2 Years, Probably Shanked in the Shower, Thanks to Snitching

Daniel Hernandez, better known as Tekashi 6ix9ine, better known as that dipshit with the 69 face tattoo, was sentenced to two years in prison today for his role in various illegal activities committed by the Nine Trey Bloods gang, a relatively light sentence he got by snitching so hard the dye came off his hair.

CNN reported his team had asked the judge for a sentence of time served, but that the judge thought his crimes were too severe for that. But he did apply the 13 months he’s already served to his sentence, so he’ll probably be out in time for Christmas next year.

It does seem like 6ix9ine has grown as a person from this, he’s just yet to grow into the kind of person who doesn’t have a giant stupid face tattoo yet.

In court, Hernandez spoke of his remorse and how he failed the young fans who look up to him. He stressed that he’d change his ways when he’s out of prison. He also directly apologized to a woman who told the court that she was shot in the foot in a July 2018 shooting in Brooklyn.

“I’m sorry for what happened to you that day,” Hernandez said.

His lawyers also claimed he joined the gang to promote his career, presumably after recording himself having sex with a 13-year-old didn’t get him the results it got for R. Kelly and David Bowie. And Michael Jackson. I’m kidding about that last one, Michael Jackson wouldn’t have sex with anyone as old as 13.

So 6ix9ine will only be in prison for a little under a year, but I imagine being a child pornographer and a snitch and a celebrity is like…not the ideal situation for a prisoner who wants to not be murdered in the shower.