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Steven Spielberg’s Daughter is Going Into Porn

If your dad is Steven Spielberg, you can pretty much get any job you want in Hollywood. I mean, John Landis was arrested for manslaughter and his dumbass kid got six scripts produced and got to make the worst adaptation of a Douglas Adams book ever. Spielberg is Hollywood royalty and because Hollywood’s so absolutely rife with nepotism and favoritism, any of his kids could get any project they wanted greenlit by any studio tomorrow.

So it’s somewhat surprising that his daughter has decided her future is in porn, but that’s what Mikaela Spielberg told The Sun she’s doing.

Mikaela, who speaks to her parents regularly, broke the news to them via FaceTime at the weekend and said they were “intrigued” but “not upset”.

Describing herself as a “sexual creature” she told The Sun: “I got really tired of not being able to capitalize on my body and frankly, I got really tired of being told to hate my body.

Look, I’m very pro sex worker, and not in a snarky joke way; if that is how someone wants to earn a living, then they should be allowed to and they should be safe doing it. It’s a respectable job, it’s not like she wants to be a Wall Street banker or something.

But I think we know what is going on here. The most likely answer is that she is just a terrible actress. Have you seen The Godfather Part III? Do you remember how just dogshit awful of an actress Sofia Coppola was in it? Mikaela Spielberg has to be even worse than that.

Mikela’s career as a porn star isn’t off to a great start; she’s made her Instagram private in the wake of her interview with The Sun and she says her OnlyFans is “not set up yet.” Hard to be a shy porn star, especially in today’s market where you’re basically hand-selling yourself on social media.

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