If You Have an Extra Thousand Dollars, You Can FaceTime With Blac Chyna

The only reason I knew who Blac Chyna was is because she was involved in some drama with the Kardashians, getting dumped for Kylie Jenner and then later dating Rob Kardashian, the worst Kardashian. So when I started writing this story, I looked up why she was actually famous and it turns out that’s basically it except Drake wanted to f**k her ten years ago.

But if you have an extra thousand dollars and want to spend it pretending to be friends with someone who knows the Kardashians, Blac Chyna has got a deal for you. For only $950, you can FaceTime with her. And if that is out of your price range, she’ll follow you on social media for $250.


No, really, who was asking for this?

Blac Chyna is a stripper who knows famous people, you know what $950 can get you in a strip club? And I guarantee you those strippers know just as many famous people as she does. And probably your mayor.

Honestly, though, this doesn’t say how long a chat you get to have with Blac Chyna but what would you talk about? How big Rob Kardashian’s dick is? That’s going to take five inches at most. Seconds. I mean seconds. What do you mean this is a written article and if I meant seconds I would just go back and change it to seconds? I’m like an actor who doesn’t do second takes.

But at the end of the day it’s your money and if you think it’s well-spent on a phone call with a reality TV star it’s probably better you don’t have it anyway.

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3 years ago

The only way that lady us getting $950 is if she sucks my dick dry. Face Time???Wouldn’t give her a nickel