PETA Wants Fat Thor to Slim Down by Going Vegan
There’s an old joke that goes “How can you tell if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” I’ve never heard anything more true in my entire life. Sometimes stereotypes are true and one of the ones that is true is that vegans won’t shut up about it. The Vegan Police gag from Scott Pilgrim was making fun of how vegans talk about being vegan like it gives you superpowers.
So Taika Waititi mentioned recently that he wasn’t sure if Thor would still be fat in the forthcoming Thor: Love and Thunder (he won’t be, Thor being hot is a big selling point for those movies). Cue PETA with an open letter on why Thor should go vegan.
Dear Taika,
We understand that you have a bit of a weight problem on your hands, and PETA is here to help. As we all remember, Thor packed on a few pounds in Avengers: Endgame, so the question consuming Marvel fans across the Nine Realms is how our favorite thunder god will return to his Ragnarockin’ bod in your upcoming film, Thor: Love and Thunder. We suggest taking a page from Chris Hemsworth’s own playbook and exploring what would happen if Thor tried going vegan.
According to his personal trainer, Hemsworth went vegan while filming the original Thor and Avengers films, developing a particular taste for beans and veggie burgers. Perhaps if Thor took the Bifrost Bridge to our world, he might get inspired by plant-based Avengers, Benedict Cumberbatch (Doctor Strange) and Natalie Portman (Jane Foster) and that battle armor would start fitting a little more comfortably.
If Thor is serious about protecting the Earth, going vegan makes a lot of sense—axing animal products from his diet could save more than 1,000 gallons of water, 20 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions, and 30 square feet of forest each day as well as the lives of nearly 200 animals a year! By having Thor go vegan, you could easily explain his restored physique while hammering home the benefits of a plant-based diet.
Just some food for thought …
Best regards,
Lewis Crary
Assistant Manager, Animals in Film & Television
PETA
Yeah, that’s what we need, a protein-deficient god of thunder chewing on his hammer in the hopes of getting some iron in his system.
Some people believe that PETA is an operation designed to discredit the animal rights movement because it’s hard to believe someone being that annoying and terrible sincerely. But let me tell you, no one corny enough to use the phrase “Ragnarockin’ bod” is running that deep a game.
