Mike Tyson is Going to Fight a Shark

Mike Tyson is going to fight a shark. Now, I though that Mike Tyson had beat the s**t out of everything but the chupacabra, but apparently he’s never fought a shark before.

This isn’t a plot from The Mike Tyson Mysteries, either, this a real thing that is happening in real life. As CNN reports, it’s part of Shark Week on Discovery, and Michael Buffer will be the announcer. You know, the guy who says “Let’s get ready to rumble?”

So why is Tyson fighting a shark? Well, supposedly it’s for research. I have no idea what is being researched other than if Mike Tyson can beat the s**t out of a shark. My guess is yes, unless the shark is Buster Douglas.

Tyson had his own reasons for taking the fight. With a shark.

“I equate this with overcoming my fear of getting back into the ring at 54 years old. I learned from this experience doing ‘Shark Week’ that whatever intimidates me, I am still able to step up to the challenge of overcoming anything that would prevent me from accomplishing my life’s mission of reaching my highest potential in life and bringing me closer to God.”

I don’t know why he needs to fight a shark to do that after fighting a chupacabra.

I know what you’re about to say, you’re about to say “The Mike Tyson Mysteries is not real life,” and to that I say Mike Tyson is fighting a fucking shark, all bets about the nature of reality are off.

They did say Mike didn’t bite the shark, so at least there’s that.