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Trailer for E-Thot Simulator ‘Gamer Girl’ Took the Internet by Storm, Then Vanished

There are very few things sadder than being the moderator of a Twitch stream for a boobie streamer. I don’t have a problem with the boobie streamers themselves (get those sadboy dollars, kween) , but the simps who follow them around begging to sniff their shoes or whatever really need some self respect and they’re not going to get it hoping the girl lecturing her viewers because not enough of them are subscribing to her channel shows them nudes. She’s never going to show you nudes, get a girlfriend.

A few days ago we got a look at a trailer for a video game called Gamer Girl in which, and I swear to god I’m not making this up, you play as a Twitch moderator for a boobie streamer.

Look, I’m old enough that I remember Night Trap. In fact, I had it for the Sega CD 32X, which was an abomination of interconnected peripherals for the Sega Genesis that made the system kind of look like a pair of robot tits with a prolapsed vagina. Night Trap was also an FMV-based thriller, and FMV games were very popular on the Sega CD. They were all terrible. The only good FMV games were Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace, and that’s just because they had that Don Bluth animation; the video game parts were the worst parts. Oh, what’s that, you think I forgot Cliff Hanger? F**k you, go watch Castle of Cagliostro, I just said the video game parts were the worst parts of those games.

And that’s exactly the problem with this game, I can tell just from the trailer; the only reason this is a video game and not a movie is because no one would ever watch this movie. You saw the acting in the trailer right? Well, that actress also improvised all the dialogue, so ot’s like the worst episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm ever made.

That trailer was rehosted after the developers pulled it down because the reaction from pretty much everyone was “what the f**k?” Seriously, it got dunked on by gamers and the people who are constantly complaining about gamers so much that it wasn’t even online a whole day.

Wales Interactive, the company behind the game, said on Twitter “Gamer Girl was co-written by Alexandra Burton, the lead actress who improvised the entire script. The research into the streaming content of Gamer Girl took 4 years and the dev team at FMV Future interviewed dozens of female streamers.” Four years and no one thought “maybe this is a bad idea.” I can’t help but think of that Patton Oswalt bit about Deathbed: The Bed That Eats People. How does someone with an idea this terrible not only finish writing it but get it produced?

And this is not just some shovelware destined for Steam, this shovelware is getting released on the PS4, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch. You can buy Night Trap on the Switch right now for $15. Sure, it’s terrible but Gamer Girl is also going to be terrible and they’re probably going to charge at least twice that much for it.

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