A Dark, Gritty ‘Powerpuff Girls’ Reboot is Happening Because We’re in Hell

Did you know that The Powerpuff Girls were originally called Whoopass Stew because they were made from “sugar, spice and everything nice… and a can of whoop-ass”? That name and concept were a little too adult for Cartoon Network at the time, but now we’re in the age of the gritty CW reboot and The Powerpuff Girls is next in line, as reported by Variety.

In the updated version of the series, the titular superheroes are now disillusioned twentysomethings who resent having lost their childhood to crime fighting. Will they agree to reunite now that the world needs them more than ever?

The project hails from writers and executive producers Heather Regnier and Diablo Cody. Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schechter, and David Madden will executive produce via Berlanti Productions. Warner Bros. Television will produce.

You ever read an Archie comic? They’re like “Oh no, I’m Archie and I have a date with Veronica but my car won’t start and my friend Jughead ate a comical amount of hamburgers.” Then Riverdale came along and it was like “I’m Archie, I’m sleeping with Miss Grundy and ten people have been murdered and my friend Jughead is in a gang and fucks now and also there’s a cult.”

And that’s what we can expect from this new Powerpuff Girls show. For starters, I assure you Buttercup is a lesbian based entirely upon her having a short haircut in the cartoon.

Seriously, though, have you ever watched an episode of The Powerpuff Girls and thought “You know what would make this lighthearted children’s cartoon better? If the girls were brooding and horny.” Of course not, because you’re sane.

But we’re all totally going to watch this, aren’t we? I know I feel bad about it too, but it’s going to be just good enough and just serialized enough to keep us interested, like all CW shows. That how it happened with Riverdale, that show is objectively below average But it has just enough intrigue and gorgeous actors and actresses to keep people watching.