Conservative Weirdo Ben Shapiro is Very Mad About Cardi B’s New Song ‘WAP’

In ‘The Lemon Song‘, Robert Plant sang “Squeeze me baby, ’till the juice runs down my leg // The way you squeeze my lemon, I //I’m gonna fall right out of bed.” Cardi B’s new new single ‘WAP’ has done away with that sort of subtle metaphor and just gets straight to the point, talking about wet ass pussy. People who have had sex with a woman that enjoyed it will recognize that this is a reference to the natural lubrication produced by female arousal to facilitate sexual intercourse.

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro is apparently not one of those people because he was beside himself on his podcast over the indecent lyrics.

He really said “wet ass p-word” like a dozen times. It’s especially funny because he’s so tiny that his voice sounds like he just got done doing bumps of helium.

But Shapiro did not stop there, he went on to produce one of the greatest accidental self-owns in the history of Twitter.

As I also discussed on the show, my only real concern is that the women involved — who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" — get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 10, 2020

Imagine being Ben’s doctor wife and having to assure him that women’s vaginas only get wet if they have a medical problem.

“Well, I’ve certainly never encountered a wet vagina before!”

“Yes, there must be something wrong with those women, honey. I’m going to go into the bathroom and brush my teeth with my very loud electric toothbrush for the next half hour or so.”

”You sure do love brushing your teeth.”

By the way, the annotated lyrics to ‘WAP’ on Genius are just… *chef’s kiss*.

Bad news for Shapiro and the rest of the Lollypop Guild, but ‘WAP’ is a huge hit, being pretty much the number one song in the world right now. It’s just going to get worse for the little guy and his fans, if the song continues to get the kind of play it has been then women are going to start expecting to have orgasms and god knows no one who listens to Ben Shapiro unironically is capable of pulling that off.