Elon Musk, Maker of Cars That Can’t Get Wet, Is Unveiling a Chip That Attaches to Your Brain

Getting excited for something Elon Musk has had a hand in is kind of like sleeping with someone for the first time and finding out that “all night long” really means “about twenty minutes.” Eventually, the makeup and the wonder bra come off and what was promised to be eight inches seems a lot more like five.

With Elon, what was going to be a revolutionary high-speed transit system is actually a taxi cab in a tunnel and what was advertised as a high-tech submarine was actually a metal tomb that no one asked for or wanted to put a kid in. And what seemed like a favorable “pedo guy” court ruling is actually a knife that cuts both ways because obviously anything I say about Elon Musk, such as “I would rather buy an electric car from the Acme Corporation than drive some piece of s**t that falls apart in a light mist and was designed buy a guy who looks like a date rapist” is clearly just humorous hyperbole that no one would think is a serious statement of fact.

Elon Musk wants to put chips in your brains now. All Incan really say about that is that the people who would let Elon Musk put a chip in their brain need something done to their brains. He says there will be a presentation of a “working Neuralink device“ Friday.

Live webcast of working @Neuralink device
Friday 3pm Pacific https://t.co/PouLbrGzFU

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 26, 2020

Given his track record, since he promised a device that interfaces with a human brain, I’m guessing he’s going to unveil a robotic arm that shocks your balls.