Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Trying to Save Marriage on Island Fortress

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t thrown in the towel on their marriage just yet.

TMZ reports that the couple and their kids are finally all together in one place after being apart for months, but there’s a catch: they’ve flown to a private island to avoid the paparazzi.

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ, the fam is staying in what is described as a “fortress” … an estate that is so remote it’s virtually impossible for trespassers to get close.

I’m picturing this thing being inside a volcano-shaped like a skull, making this the final step in Kanye’s transformation for ordinary narcissist to Dr. Doom. He already refers to himself in the third person a lot, and I can see him hiring Elon Musk to make Kanyebots to handle mental tasks and fool that accursed Richards, although Musk’s robots would probably fall apart if they get wet.

I hope these two crazy kids work things out, because what am I going to write about if they separate and there’s no more drama? I can’t count on Ellen DeGeneres to maul a poor person every day. I mean, I guess I could, no one would be surprised if she did at this point.