Catholic Altar Burned After Priest Had Threesome With Dominatrixes

Imagine you’re just minding your own business, walking past a Catholic Church and you hear the sounds of sex coming from inside. What’s your first thought? I’m guessing something like “How can I put a stop to this without being scarred for life by seeing a priest having his way with a ten-year-old.”

The New York Daily News reports a Louisiana man was faced with this choice and decided to take some video. Luckily, the priest was just having sex with some hookers.

Cops said a passerby filmed Clark half-naked with two women and several sex toys on the altar of Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church on Sept. 30, according to WWL. The passerby sent the video to police, who arrived and arrested Clark along with two women, Melissa Cheng, 23, and Mindy Dixon, 41.

You might be wondering what the crime here is, and it’s public indecency. You have to draw the blinds on the stained-glass windows before you defile the altar, I guess. At least lock the doors to the church so people can’t just walk in on you.

Our story does not end there, though. The priest, Travis Clark, was defrocked, which is about the minimum you can expect when you have sex with hookers in a church. You know, when you’re having sex with adults, otherwise you get sent to a new parish and told not to talk about it.

The Archbishop had a bit of an over-reaction about the whole thing and TMZ is reporting he’s had the altar removed and burned.

That seems like a bit of an over-reaction considering altars in Catholic churches are made of stone, which isn’t actually combustible.

Another thing you might not know about altars in Catholic churches is they have body parts in them. Seriously. These are referred to as “first-degree relics” and they’re taken from saints. They have to be big enough to be identifiable as human body parts, and I’m just guessing, but that’s probably what was burned here. But yeah, the sex was the “demonic” thing here.

This Archbishop should just be glad everyone involved was over 18.