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‘Fatman’: What the Hell Even is This Mel Gibson Santa Assassin Movie?

Fatman

There’s an action movie coming out where Mel Gibson is a grizzled military contractor brought back for one last job and Walton Goggins is an assassin hired to bring him down, Sounds awesome right? What if I told you that Mel Gibson’s character was Santa Claus? Still awesome?

Fatman is by far the strangest Christmas film I’ve ever heard of and I watch The Hebrew Hammer every single year.  The basic plot of “spoiled kid gets coal and hires someone to kill Santa” is actually pretty funny, but why does Gibson come off like a character from a South Park movie parody?

Honestly, from the trailer, I couldn’t actually tell if this was an action film, a comedy, or both. They’re calling it an action-comedy, but a  little digging into the writer/director team of Eshom and Ian Nelms tells me this is going to be something even better than that: it’s a straight-forward, good old-fashioned B-movie schlock-fest.

This could end up being the Airplane! of terrible movies; Mel Gibson and Walton Goggins are fantastic actors and getting them to play something this stupid completely straight could honestly make this the best movie of the year. It helps that Birds of Prey was the only other movie to release this year, and that one didn’t make it to “so bad it’s good” and was just stuck at “bad.” Oh, and New Mutants, that was a crazy weekend. Imagine being the person who got COVID and killed their whole family to see New Mutants.

Fatman is set to be available on VOD November 17th, four days after it releases to theaters which, let’s be honest, it was only going to be in theaters for four days without a global pandemic shutting them all down. But so few movies were released this year that Fatman could win an Oscars in one of those categories no one gives a s**t about like sound editing, and I think that’s what we as a society deserve.

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