Cardi B Isn’t Divorcing Offset After All. For Now. Check Back Next Week.

I’m getting some serious whiplash from Cardi B’s relationship with Offset. They love each other. They hate each other. He cheated. She’s about to pull some bitch’s weave out. They’re getting divorced. She showed the internet her tits. They’re not getting divorced.

Wait, they’re not getting divorced?

Page Six reports that Cardi B filed paperwork to dismiss her divorce filing, meaning these two crazy kids just might make it work after all.

The “WAP” rapper — born Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar — filed to dismiss her divorce petition against Offset — born Kiari Kendrell Cephus — on Monday, per a Georgia court docket obtained by Page Six.

She filed to dismiss the case without prejudice, meaning she could refile at a later date if things take a turn.

A judge has not signed off on her request yet, but the case appears to be closed.

Judges usually won’t make people get divorced if they don’t want to.

But I think we can be sure this isn’t the last time Cardi is going to almost divorce Offset. It’s definitely not the first time.

This goes the same way every time, and I think it’s clear that Offset drives Cardi crazy, but he’s used some kind of dick hypnosis on her WAP that she absolutely can’t resist. Serious, look at every time they’ve gotten back together and you’ll see every time it was because Cardi was horny.