Kanye West May Leave America Entirely Since He Can’t Be President

Every year, a lot of Americans threaten to leave the country if their preferred candidate doesn’t win the presidential election, and yet very few of them do. There was no mass exodus of Hollywood stars under George W. Bush or Donald Trump, and no migration of country music stars when Barack Obama won.

There is one celebrity I believe might be sincere in his desire to leave the country over his preferred candidate not winning the election, though: Kanye West. Kanye has just the spoiled “take my ball and go home” that he may actually be serious when he says he wants to leave the country because we were all too dumb to see the genius in his platform of making kids pray in school in clear violation of the First Amendment and being Kanye West. Those were essentially the only two things in his entire platform because let’s be realistic, Kanye West doesn’t understand economics or international relations at all.

And I am not talking hypothetically here, either; OK! Magazine is reporting that Kanye is seriously threatening to leave the country because “he doesn’t understand what went wrong and he wants out because we don’t deserve him.”

Now, to be fair to Kanye, he didn’t actually expect to win, according to OK’s source; the theory that he was trying to be a spoiler and siphon votes from Joe Biden turned out to be correct, and Kanye thought Trump would reward him with a cabinet position for delivering the presidency.

Kanye’s problem is he thought millions of people would vote for him, but only about 60,000 people did and he finished behind Gloria la Riva of the Party for Socialism and Liberation, who I considered voting for, though I ultimately went with Green Party candidate Howie Hawkins, who received more than five times as many votes as Kanye despite some pretty underhanded maneuvers by the Democrats to keep the Greens off the ballot in several states.

One of the reasons West performed so poorly is that Gloria la Riva, Howie Hawkins and even Jo Jorgensen understand government and how things work. Hawkins introduced the term “Green New Deal,” which you may have heard supported by prominent politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders. Kanye West’s most notable accomplishment is marrying the reality TV lady with the big ass.

And even she thinks he’s an idiot.

“There is no way Kim [Kardashian] and the kids are moving to a new country, because her husband’s feeling were hurt,” a Kardashian source tells OK!. “Kim is used to these outbursts and finds ignoring them is the best way to handle him. After a while Kanye gets distracted by something else and moves on, which is a good thing because Kanye is nota good loser.”

That’s like how you handle a toddler. It’s kind of hilarious we currently have two giant babies stamping their feet and refusing to accept their utter rejection by the American people, especially when only one of them realistically had a chance at being president. Three if you count Amber Heard saying millions of people are being paid to not like her online.