This Out-Of-Control Fire Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina


Gwyneth Paltrow sells a candle that she claims smells like her vagina. I personally have not smelled it doesn’t really want to smell it and that decision has really paid off for me in a lot of ways.

For starters, I haven’t burned my house down. You would think that wouldn’t be an issue with a scented candle but you would be surprised. The Sun reports that one Goop customer who purchased the vagina candle had the thing go off like a Roman candle in her living room.

But Jody was taken by ­surprise after lighting it when a 50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar. The media consultant told The Sun: “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere. I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

A goop spokeswoman told The Sun: “We’re in touch with the woman to see if she followed the specific fire safety instructions included with the candle, such as trimming the wick and not burning it for more than two hours. At goop, we vet the products we sell and make customer safety a priority, so we’ve alerted the manufacturer to the woman’s issue and have also reached out to her to send her some goop products to help pass the days in quarantine.”

I can’t imagine the end-user error on a scented candle that turns it into the pool scene from Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood. 50cm is a foot and a half, which is about the most you could get out of a Bunsen burner. No one can mess up using a candle that badly without some sort of manufacturing error.

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2 years ago

Any candle will explode if you pour liquid onto the melted wax pool. It essentially lifts the wax up into the flame. I had a citronella bucket candle shoot ten feet in the air when I poured my beer on it.