I have made no secret of my love for Shaquille O’Neal over the years. I’m not even a huge basketball fan, I just think he’s a really entertaining and fun guy. If I’m having a rough day I’ll throw on Kazaam and play some Shaq-Fu and watch my troubles melt away.
Shaq went on Conan O’Brien’s podcast, Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend and told the story of how he became IcyHot’s spokesman back in the day when the product started to take off in the 90s. Here’s what he said, via TMZ.
“I always used to see IcyHot in the locker room, and one day I kind of had like a thigh bruise, and the guy rubbed it, but he rubbed it too high.”
“During the game, my little guys started getting hot — like, really hot. Like, I thought something was wrong.”
Something was probably wrong. That stuff is 100% not for use on your genitals. And it doesn’t come off with water, so Shaq tried milk, which worked, but it also involved him pouring milk all over his dong.
“So now I’m in the shower pouring milk on my boys and the guys coming in, they’re looking at me like, ‘What the hell are you doing?'”
So he did what any one of us would do in his situation and signed an endorsement deal. I am so disappointed this was never a commercial for IcyHot. “Hi, I’m Shaquille O’Neal and I absolutely broiled my twig and berries with IcyHot, so I know it works!”