Oscar Recap: Another Big Night For Movies You’ll Totally Get Around to Watching. Eventually. Is That on Netflix?

The Academy / Krislam Chin

Ahh, the Oscars. Hollywood’s biggest night when all the stars come out and pat themselves for a job well done. It’s a hard life, what with memorizing almost a hundred pages of dialogue, standing up into frame after your stunt double does something really cool and having sex with supermodels half your age in your mansion between shoots. That’s why we need a night to honor these people who bring us so much joy making the movies we love.

Of course, we have like twenty nights where Hollywood stars give each other statues and mostly for films no one watched about finding love during the Holocaust that turns out to be bittersweet or the time a racist white guy from the South made a black friend.

This year’s big winner is Chloé Zhao, the first Asian woman to win the Oscar for Best Director, proving that anyone of any race can achieve their dream of making a sad movie about a disheveled white lady. Nomadland also took home Best Picture and Frances McDormand won Best Disheveled White Lady Lead Actress for the film.

My Octopus Teacher won Best Documentary, and boy was I disappointed to find out it was about some hippie who made friends with an octopus and not, as I assumed, a live-action adaptation of Assassination Classroom.

Anthony Hopkins won Best Leading Actor for The Father, a film about dementia that made a whopping $5 million in the global box office. It actually sounds like a great, intelligently filmed and superbly acted film that I’m sure you’re going to see. Right after you catch up on the new season of Nailed It!

Supporting Actor and Actress went to Youn Yuh-jung for Minari and Daniel Kaluuya for Judas and the Black Messiah, because diversity is important but only in the smaller acting categories. These are both totally great movies to read the plot summaries for on Wikipedia and pretend you’ve seen the way you did with Get Out.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments