Charlize Theron

Charlize tells FHM that she would want to have x-ray vision so she can see random people on the street naked, but only for an hour. I don’t know why she wants this when she sees me naked about 10 minutes a day, if not in the flesh, then in pictures I mail to her marked “Fuzzy Doggy Pictures.” I used to get replies back from her like, “you have the hottest body I’ve ever seen” or “holy christ, you’re ripped, call me.” Now she’s getting a little too clingy and wants me to be with her in public. I told her I won’t have it because I’m a man. A man of mystery.