Cynthia Nixon

Last Thursday, a woman was visiting Riverside Park when she threw away a used Ziploc bag. Some woman got up off the bench and started leafing through the trash to find it. The crazy lady was none other than Cynthia Nixon, the redhead from “Sex and the City”.

“I was standing there in utter shock that Cynthia Nixon picked my trash out of the garbage. She then turns to me and asks, ‘Is it okay to take this?’ She then took her son’s half-eaten snack and placed it in my used baggie.”

Amazing. Stuck up princesses like her always love shoving their wealth in your face. Ziploc. Jesus, it sounds so dignified. Maybe tomorrow her highness can wipe her son’s butt with used CHARMIN Extra Soft and eat moldy KRAFT Macroni and Cheese before retiring to her castle made of diamonds.