Michael Vick

Michael Vick the dickhead dog killer has agreed to plead guilty to felony conspiracy charges next Monday and could face prison time. Vick accepted a plea deal that would help him avoid additional federal charges.

Court documents released last week showed that two of Vick’s alleged partners said he helped kill dogs that didn’t fight well, and that all three men “executed approximately eight dogs” in ways that included hanging and drowning.

The dogs were killed because they fared poorly in “testing” sessions in April at Vick’s property in Virginia where the dogfighting venture was based, according to documents released following plea agreement hearings Friday for Purnell Peace, 35, of Virginia Beach, and Quanis Phillips, 28, of Atlanta.

Michael Vick is an ass. That’s basically all anyone needs to know now. Meanwhile, NFL GM says you can count on Vick returning to the NFL. Not in Atlanta, but somewhere else as a running back.

“Teams may say one thing publicly. But if he gets out of jail, we’ll all be looking at Vick hard. We’re all whores in football. You know the saying. We’d sign an ax murderer if he has ability. He’ll be back. He won’t be back in Atlanta probably but he’ll be back in professional football. You can count on it.”

That’s if PETA doesn’t get to him first. Those guys are crazy. If you ever needed cheap assassins, tell PETA the guy you want killed stepped on a roach. To motivate them some more, mention that he stomped on it real hard and he videotaped and masturbated to it.