Uncle Kracker

Uncle Kracker, best known as Kid Rock’s former DJ, was arrested and charged with a second-degree forcible sex offense outside Raleigh, North Carolina at the Embassy Suites hotel. TMZ later obtained documents that Kracker said he would fly back to Michigan to avoid the charges. He is now in jail and bond has been set at $5 million.

Raleigh Police tell TMZ that Kracker was busted early Friday morning after a 26-year-old female approached an off-duty cop in a nightclub and reported that “he had committed a sexual act against her while she was inside the establishment.”

You’d think there would be nowhere to go but up after being Kid Rock’s former DJ. Uncle Kracker could have been found dead from self-asphyxiation in the middle of masturbation and it would have been an improvement. At least people will remember him as the dumbass sexual deviant who used a real noose instead of that DJ for Kid Rock that forceably assaulted a woman.

Photo: City County Bureau of Identification